After receiving a FedEx delivered notice from BOA (yes, they'd been mailing and calling since July), I finally decided I had to bite the bullet and just call. I've been a customer of theirs for the last 14 years - never missed a single payment! EVER! Paid the account off...twice! So for me to not pay this bill has been excruciating. I'm a woman of my word, I repay what I borrow...it has been hell.
I have to say I was very surprised by the response I got from their Customer Care department (a special department for collections at BOA). The gentleman I spoke with was truly a gentle man. Even when I broke
down in tears on the phone with him, he remained calm and compassionate asking lightly probing questions as to why my account is in the state that it is. He even went so far as to say "I know I work for the bank and everything, but I really feel for your situation. Just concentrate on your mortgage, utilities, and food for now. I hope your husband's surgery goes well," and I feel he meant it.
He also asked when I thought I might be able to start getting back on track with BOA...I answered honestly "probably not until January." He wrote it all into the notes on my file, said to still expect "a couple of calls a month" and to just keep them informed. "When you're back on your feet, we do have a hardship program and other options that can assist you."
So, for now...I'm feeling pretty good about BOA. Time will tell if they turn into demonic bill collectors or hold to their word. For the moment, it would seem they understand they can't get what I don't have the ability to pay at the moment.
On a spiritual note: this has to be one of the most difficult times of life yet. I think the worst is watching Tall's inner dialog batter him into a bloody pulp. All he wants to do is work. He is going in for surgery on the 1st and won't be able to work for a good while after that. Clinging to the promises of God is all we literally have left. I have found this link most helpful in my darkest moments: "Looking for answers"
We know that you may be hurting, physically in pain, and tired of the battle. Turn from those things and look at the life of your dear Savior. He was led to the desert, tired, hungry, and scorched by the sun. Look at Him on the way to the cross, once again in pain—through no fault of His own. He understands your suffering, and He will not allow it to be wasted.
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need" (Hebrews 4:15-16).
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love” (Romans 5:3-5, NLT).
"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)
It's awful to realize how very little I do trust God, but then, I've never been tested quite this long or this hard before. To have everything, EVERYTHING on the line, to be standing at the mountain's base and not be able to find a single foot or handhold or a way around, under, or through it. To know that the only way is to climb but realizing that 'hey! I'm TOO SHORT TO REACH!!!" It's awful. We're willing. We're ready. We're trying. All to no avail! So frustrating.
Anyway, it's a daily struggle to wait in the Lord's hands. A minute to minute struggle actually. So...I pray. I'm even praying in my sleep!
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