Been a tough week.

We finally completed our credit counseling so, all we have to do now is somehow pull the remaining $800+ out of our asses and finish paying the lawyer so he can file our case.  The only problem is, we still have a negative income until Tall figures out a job somehow.

We have cut everything we can think to cut - but, we have to keep internet so Tall can continue to job search.  Go to the library you say?  Well I agree, that would be great! Except we don't live in the city limits and therefore do not have access to the library and it's free internet system - we actually have to pay for membership.  That's what happens when you live in county, but don't think that bothers us a whole lot.  Our county property taxes are about half what city
property taxes are so we're not all that upset.  For internet, we have what amounts to dial-up - the $19.95 a month plan. Also managed to get a 6 month extension on our phone service for $30 a month (that includes unlimited long distance! A regular phone line is $30 without long distance) and have dropped HD cable (we have the most basic of basic cable which is only $11.99 a month) - but, we have to keep the 3 item bundle (phone, cable, internet) in order to get all the discounts.  It's still better than Dish Network. *smirk*

No cell phones, no dinners out, no movies out, no shopping, no home repairs, no car repairs (though they are DESPERATELY NEEDED!), no pizzas, no beer/wine/etc, we don't smoke, we keep the heat off, keep lights off unless absolutely necessary, no driving unless totally necessary, getting a bus pass this weekend to save on gas and thanking God both girls have bus passes attached to their ASB cards so they ride for free anyway. No unnecessary medical visits! Yeah...we're there.  If they aren't bleeding uncontrollably or have a broken bone, we treat them at home...because we cannot afford to incur further medical bills.  It's helpful that Tall is actually an RN because he knows how to treat a lot of this minor kind of stuff:  "ice it, 20 mins on/20 mins off" and that's what a doctor says for about 90% of all childhood injuries, lol!

I admit: we splurge on a couple of things.

• Laundry detergent - we always keep this handy because I will not allow my family to walk about in dirty clothes.
• Haircuts (yeah...$15 cuts from Hairmasters) - I will not allow my family to look disheveled.
• Fresh fruit/vegetables/meat - I will not allow my family to become malnourished. It is a truly sick thing when decent, healthy, fresh food is more expensive than the processed crap that is passed off as "food".

I think we have to give up the house.  Just...walk away from it.  We're upside-down, zero equity, it's falling apart and if we moved to an apartment, well - we'd save money, utilities (water/garbage) are included, we'd live on a bus line and really close to the girls' schools and my work, i.e. we wouldn't have to drive the Suburban from hell which isn't safe anyway!  We have to downsize enough to exist on my salary alone and it doesn't look possible if we stay in the house.  We've been there for 14 years - it's no mansion! It's just a little 3 bedroom rambler with crappy carpet and beat up hardwood floors that is in desperate need of actual landscaping which we have been meaning to do for years but have never been able to afford.

I don't know.  I'm applying for a second job this weekend for weekend work only...can't put my full time job in jeopardy though. Christmas is coming and there is zero extra money.  And even if I manage to bring in more money, there will still be zero extra. Maybe I shouldn't bother and just enjoy my family on the weekends.  I'm already gone from them all during the week as it is.

Sorry...this is a really depressing post.

Good news is; we've been praying for Tall's pain situation and God seems to have answered that by alleviating it until his consult next week.  At least he can function without Vicodin! Crossing our fingers for a quick surgery and speedy recovery.